Cart Pushers

I’ve been thinking a lot about seasons lately; how they come and go, and reminding myself that the hard ones do eventually end. I’ve been harboring the feeling that I’m carrying too much on my mind. 

I thought about some pictures I took of my nephew recently - who was determined to pull the pumpkin patch cart with pumpkins in it all by himself. He’s pulling that thing with all his might and he’s going to do it all by himself like the proud 2.5 year old he is. And then I see the picture of my brother, gently pushing the cart from behind, helping him with the load while my nephew keeps pulling the cart big and strong. It might sound silly, but I couldn’t help but see myself in those photos.

It’s hard to let people help me. It’s hard for me to let people into my business. I just want to deal with it all by myself, and I don’t talk to people deeply about things. Some of it is because I’ve kind of always struggled in life and maybe that’s all people can see in me anymore - and if I continually share what’s going on in my life, then I won’t ever be given the opportunity to help because people won’t think I have anything to offer since I’ve always got problems. Some of it is because, in my experience, people hear what they want to hear sometimes instead of truly listening, understanding, and validating. 

And so I do things all on my own. I am the 2.5 year old pulling the cart.

But there’s something to be said for finding your people, or your person, who you can bear your soul to without fear. Your friend(s), or family, or confidant, whoever else you have that has shown you time and time again - I will be here and I will help you carry the weight. Someone who will celebrate the good with you and weep with you in the bad. Someone who will pray with you and for you, encourage you and strengthen you and help you find your way without trying to have their own way. 

Someone who is just simply there to help gently push the cart while you pull it.

I am thankful for those people. Without you, I probably wouldn’t get very far.