A Forest on Fire
Do you believe that God speaks to people through dreams in the present day? There’s all sorts of times in the Bible where people have dreams and they are interpreted by prophets. I can’t speak for anyone other than my own personal opinion on this subject, but I do believe there have been times when God spoke to me through dreams, or tried to show me something, or help me in some way through a dream. It’s only happened a few times in my 35 years of life, but when it does, I always end up waking up with this overwhelming feeling like I need to take note of everything I just saw in my brain while sleeping (and strangely enough I can remember almost every single detail vividly, unlike other dreams), and another overwhelming feeling like I need to pray. I know how absolutely ridiculous this may sound to people who don’t believe in God, and even to some who do believe in God - and I get it. From an outside perspective reading this, I understand how easy it is to think “oooookay weirdo.” I’m just telling you what I know to be true for me. That being said, let me tell you about a dream I had that has shook me to my core for months now, and how it has changed the way I’m looking at life.
I am running as fast as I can in what seems to be a baren land, but I can feel the blistering heat from a forest fire up ahead. There is nothing else around except for this random, lush, forest that is on fire. Instead of running from it, I am running into it. I am dirty, scratched up, and breathing heavily from it all. I take notice in my dream that others are running towards the fire as well. I look back towards the forest up ahead as I race onward, legs pounding the dirt and rock beneath my feet. I notice that inside of this forest, are very intricate tree houses built within every single tree. Something in me suddenly realizes that I am racing to try to save things within them that I hold dear, things that I wanted, and things that I loved. As I get closer and closer to the flame-filled forest of treehouses, I realize that I don’t know which one to go to. In a panic while still running around, I see a treehouse up ahead and I decide that’s the one to go into. However, on the way there, I pass another treehouse and something in me feels like maybe I should go to that one instead, but I continue towards the other one I saw first - determined to get what I came for.
I arrive at the steps to the treehouse still running as fast as I can, and immediately my body is hit with the feeling that I’m made of lead. I cannot get my body to move fast at all - something is physically holding me back. But, determined as ever, I continue onward up the steps; grabbing onto anything I can to pull myself up the stairs with all my strength. I finally arrive at the threshold of the door to the treehouse. I let the door open and I smile. Though I can’t see what’s inside from the glaring light, I know this is something I was looking for or wanted. But when I go to take my first step in, something pushes me backwards. I hesitate for a second to try to understand why I can’t go in, and after that brief second, the entire treehouse breaks away from the steps, and collapses before me, engulfed in flame and broken timber. As I stand secure on the footing of the steps, a tear leaks from my eye as I silently whisper “goodbye”, and there is a deep sorrow felt within my chest to watch it go.
I wipe the tear from my eye and suddenly remember the other treehouse that I passed on the way to this one - the one that gave me the feeling that it was actually the correct one to go to in the first place. Maybe that was the place I should go to find and collect everything I desired and held dear. Maybe that was the place filled with what was actually meant to be mine. I am able to run fast again suddenly, and off I go, running towards the other place in the midst of the hectic fire…
Only to wake up in a startle in my bed at 5:00 am on the dot, safe in the quiet. Heart thumping loudly, in the stillness of God’s voice.
Let me pause here for just a second to say this - as someone who is a Christian and very much believes in spiritual things, I still like to seek wise counsel on matters like this, because the truth is, sometimes dreams are just dreams. Not everything in life is “God speaking to you”. Sometimes when life is hard and you’re looking for answers ANYTHING can feel like “a sign” or “God speaking to you” and sometimes, it’s simply not. So, like I said, I like to seek out wise counsel from people I know I can trust to either say “Rach, I think you just need to get some more sleep…” or “Wow, let’s break this down and discuss it further.” I do that for any time I’m unsure about anything, and it’s something I would highly suggest as well.
In the moment, I remember typing it all out quickly in a note on my phone. I also remember distinctly feeling like I needed to talk to people I trusted in faithful guidance about this. It didn’t feel like “whoa, that was a trippy dream”, it felt very much more like “pay attention, and heed the lesson.” I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t. I was restless from that point on. I respectfully waited until a decent hour of the day to reach out to my people, and I had some good, heartfelt discussions. This dream, and discussing it and breaking it down with others, has really changed the way I look at my life. It’s given me a drive to have a very clear discernment with God at the forefront. To be honest, it’s something I thought I was already doing. Maybe I was to a certain extent, but I think that it’s so easy to start slipping and relying on your own plans to come through for you, rather than God. And as you’ve read in other posts - this has been a whole season of learning that hard lesson. All of that being said, here were the key takeaways that I felt after discussing this with my people - and while it was a dream that I personally had, I do believe a lot of this can resonate with others too:
1) I have a deep feeling that the forest being on fire, creating urgency, represented time being short or feeling short.
I don’t know how much time I have left on this earth. No one does. But I think everyone knows that we don’t have time to waste regardless. Whether you die young or live 100 years, our time on earth is still limited. That was the big takeaway from that part of the dream for me. That is a feeling that everyone can understand and relate to. The feeling like time isn’t on your side, it’s going too fast and you won’t be able to do or accomplish all the things you’d like to do. Maybe it often feels like your life is on fire; you’ve got to race to try to save all the things while doing all the things… you don’t have time. Which leads me to the second point…
2) Are you running towards something worthwhile that is meant for you, within the time that you do have?
In my dream, I started running towards the first tree I saw and decided that I was going there. But on the way there, I passed another tree and felt a nudge like THAT tree was actually where I should go instead. However, I went to the one I had my eyes on and once I got there, it was near impossible to even get to the door… and then everything that I wanted burned to the ground before me once I reached it after immense struggle.
At this point - I want to address one thing: I truly was gutted and scared to death and initially thought that this whole part of the dream was about our move to New Bern and that God was showing me that the whole thing was a huge mistake and that we royally screwed up. I was sincerely paranoid about it after that dream. Once I talked to my people, they offered the perspective of “Worst case scenario - even if that is some of it, God isn’t leaving you there in your dream - He is trying to help you recalculate what you should be pursuing.” Another person suggested that it’s more about what I want in life. Maybe I’m going after the wrong things and that’s why it crashes.
But it left me with these questions: What in my life am I running after that is a dead end? What am I chasing and trying to have, save, or keep that is simply not meant to be mine? What is God saving me from despite my own will? Are you running towards something worthwhile that is meant for you?
If you recall, when it crashed before my eyes I was deeply saddened in my dream. In real life though, isn’t it the same? It’s HARD to let go of things that you wanted, and things not going your way, and dreams not coming true no matter how hard you try. It’s sad! It hurts. It flippin’ sucks. I’m not going to sugarcoat that. I think God understands that. I think that sometimes He tries to save us from that in various ways. I also think that sometimes things just happen and it just wasn’t meant to be for whatever reason. But there’s one thing that I know for sure, and that is that God never leaves us emptyhanded. He always has a plan.
Remember, there was another tree along the way… which leads me to the third point…
3) Not THIS, but THAT.
In the dream, I passed another tree on my way to the one I was seeking. The nudge of “actually this is the correct one to run to”. At the end of the dream, I turned around and started running towards it instead. I woke up before I ever got to that tree or knew what was inside.
I don’t know what’s ahead of me in my life, just like I don’t know what I was actually running towards in that dream. But I do know that in that dream, I finally felt like I was going towards the RIGHT thing. All I could think about or pray about after that, was this simple phrase “God, please show me the right things.” And I meant it for every single thing in my life. Show me the right things to want, the right way to go, the right dreams to chase, the right goals to set, the right doors to go through… It’s something I still pray every single day. Sometimes I think that I want things that aren’t BAD things to want, but maybe they’re the WRONG things for ME. I don’t know about you, but I’m at the age where I’m really tired of wanting the wrong things just because it seems like the right thing. I want the right things for me. I want what God wants for me. I want the right things in God’s right time, in God’s purpose for me. Everything else has proved to be exhausting.
Maybe there are some things in this life that I am just not meant to have, or hold onto, or keep. Maybe there are some dreams that just aren’t going to come true no matter what I do. Maybe I am not going to have the exact life that I am striving for. But I will have something else instead - and it will be right. Not this, but that. God will show me what He has for me, and it will be right. And the same goes for you, friend.
Although I often feel tired and weary throughout whatever this season is, it’s clear - God is actually waking me up in all sorts of ways. Whether it’s within my quiet moments of alone time with Him, or all of these life lessons as they come as hard and fast punches to the gut, or talks with my counselor, or talks with friends and family… or literally God waking me up out of my sleep in the wee hours of the morning…
The message is clear - Let go. Focus on what’s right. And wake up.
