Entering Advent

I don’t know about you, but this year for me has been a super hard one.  It’s been filled with a lot of stress, anger, and deep sadness.  By this time, with everything this year has brought, it’s left me feeling more numb than feeling anything at all.  I’m very weary.  Stuck in a functional, robotic state - just getting through the days on autopilot.  And yes, I understand how gloomy that sounds and yes, I know that the Christmas season is supposed to bring joy - especially for me.  If you know me, you know I LOVE Christmas.  And I still do.  I’ll never give up on Christmas.  But if you know me, you also know I do my very best to keep it real and I’m not afraid to be raw and open.  Maybe there are some of you reading this who feel the same.  You’re not alone.

This season of life that I’ve entered midway through the year has been a huge season of waiting.  It feels like I have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting on the Lord to show me/us the way.  Waiting for the Lord to show up in the ways we feel we desperately need.  Waiting for the Lord to speak.  All the while desperately seeking comfort in His hands.

I did Advent for the first time last year and it really filled my soul in ways that I didn’t know I needed, and it also really helped me see things in a new light.  I learned a lot more about what Hope, Peace, Joy and Love mean to me and how I view them.  I wrote about them on my personal Instagram page for those who would like to read them, you can:  @rachelcollinsheady

As Advent starts today - a period of time literally celebrating/observing WAITING and the ANTICIPATION of Jesus - I can’t help but feel the deepest yearning I’ve felt in years for Christmas.  All those years ago, they waited, desperate for the Savior to be born to save the nations.  Today, I am waiting in quiet, beseeching anticipation for Christ to show us what He has in store for us.

And so I enter Advent with open arms and an open heart.

Jesus, come.

I am waiting for you.